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Things that make you go

 OOOOOH!

Memorable events from the past 30 years.   

 

Cleaning a Rolls Royce Phantom for its proud new owner. He won it in a card game!
Cleaning the back seat of a brand new Mercedes, after the owner gave an old lady a lift out of the kindness of his heart. She peed on the seat and managed to fuse the electronic management system box under it. Very expensive.
Spending half a day cleaning the wrong one of two identical cars.
Vacuuming up all the white powder from the glove box of a famous rock stars car. 
Dialling 999 when blood was found all over the back seat of a Mercedes, soon after hearing the police were looking for a similar car that had been involved in a kidnapping and murder. It turned out the cars owner had taken his fresh Christmas turkey home on the back seat the previous night.
The customers father, who picked up his sons VW Passat from us as a favour. He drove off our forecourt out of control, taking out two bollards, crossing the pavement and main road, then embedding it in the front of a Solicitors office opposite us. Apparently he had never driven  an automatic car before.
The Solicitor trying to climb out of what was left of his front door.
Opening a remote controlled electric garage door and driving in a large 4X4 out of the pouring rain. Then discovering that the vehicle was now parked on a new white carpet. A carpet fitter working in the house had rolled it out in there to cut to size. Took ages to clean the tyre tracks off.
Trying to stop a V12 E type from driving through the back wall of our workshop after the throttle stuck wide open.
Using up a whole tin of Brasso on a 1903 vintage Renault. 
Driving it!
Listening to a very horsy lady explain that her car “Was not that bad.” After her three dogs (and possibly her horse) had virtually lived in it for five years. We found a Barber jacket she lost under all the hair and straw.
The guy who brought in a Jag with the worst paint job we had ever seen. He had re sprayed the car completely with metallic blue aerosol cans. Over dirt, windows, bumpers, wheels, tyres the lot. He wanted us to remove all the over spray from these areas and compound the paint to a glass like shine! Some hope.
The inside of a small sports car after a pidgeon had flown through the open side window when it was doing 90 Mph.
Cleaning two massive American Kenworth and Peterbuilt trucks in a blokes back garden.
The Fiat 500 that was so rusty its engine fell out when we tried to start it.
The triangularly challenged customer who drove a three wheeled Robin reliant over our steam cleaning pit. Or rather the front wheel down it! 
Watching the steam cleaner spray freeze solid before it hit the ground one very cold winters day.
The minicab driver who slid his car across our icy forecourt very sedately, straight into the side of a new Mercedes limousine we had just finished cleaning.
Driving a 7 litre AC Cobra across the Ramada Inn lounge for a show and not leaving a single tyre track on their carpet.
Driving a Porsche Le Mans car off a transporter and into the workshop…what a noise.
All the people who’s “Dogs” had thrown up in their cars on the way back from the Christmas party.
Finding a dead Hedgehog in the wheel arch of a car.
The Austin 1100 that was so rusty its whole front end moved independently when the steering was turned..
Trying to get a 20 foot long Cadillac Eldorado into the workshop.
Being asked by a woman to polish out a dent!
Watching a customer walk straight past his car. It was so clean that he literally didn’t recognize it.
The Lady who burst into tears because her car looked so good.
Finding a leather studded thong, whips and various other interesting items in the boot of a businessman’s car.
Watching the expression on a customers face, when, after steam cleaning his cars wheel arches, we discovered the front ones were a different colour from the back. Then explaining to him that he was probably the proud owner of two cars joined in the middle.
The motorcyclist who was so busy admiring the reflections in his Gold Wings engine, after having it valeted, that on his way home he drove it off the M3 into a ditch.
The old Rover 3.5 that looked so good after we cleaned it somebody stole it!
Making sure we did a VERY good job on a particular car, after a BMW full of rather mean looking chaps turned up to check on it. One of them was playing with a gun!
Discovering a mini in our car park one morning. It stayed with us for three weeks until a young lady came to pick it up, claiming she had forgotten where she parked it after a wild night out.
The guy who brought his Porsche 911 in after somebody had thrown up through the open sunroof.
Finding enough tools left by mechanics under the bonnets, or attached to the underside of cars to start a pretty comprehensive tool kit.
The Ferrari Dino that had been stored in a barn for 20 years.
Spending four hours vacuuming dog hairs out of a car and then watching open mouthed, as the customer let the dog jump straight back in again, with no attempt to cover the seats.
The builders Volvo. See Worst Car.
The three year old Range Rover, in which a customers Boxer dog became bored whilst left on its own and literally ate the leather interior. 
 

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